This is what not sleeping does to you...
11:58 a.m. || 17 July 1996
*sighs* Not sleeping makes you think. and sometimes you think too much...*sighs again* Okay here, I'll write. It might help me fall asleep...who knows.
Is it possible to miss yourself? Because I think that I do. I miss old me. Back before all this shit crap happened The Katie that didn't have a care in the world, other then cheerleading or passing her next test. Happy Katie. Im starting to think that that side of me is gone. *sighs* for good? I'm not sure. All I know is that Happy me isn't here. There is no happy Katie Weasley. Come to think of it, Katie Weasley doesn't exist much anymore. Its just Katie. Katie Bell, I guess. But Katie Bell was the fun side of me. Katie Bell was the one who stayed up til the crack of dawn, doing Merlin knows what. She was the happy one, head cheerleader, chaser for her house. I mean, Don't get me wrong, Katie Weasley had some great things too. Katie Weasley made the Harpies. Katie Weasley was the one who went on an awesome cruise. Katie Weasley was also the one who was faithful * :-/ *
I guess I just miss being happy. I was truely happy before. I mean, sure, when i was drugged up (or more likely, off my drugs, in the hospital) But other then that, and around the 29th of each month. ever since I got engaged until about now, I've been happy. What am I gunna do 29th Sept. ? But back to talking about old me. Old Katie was fun. Old Katie was popular. Old Katie was the one person that every girl looked up to or wanted to be (well atleast most of the gryffindor girls) Old Katie had a boyfriend. Old Katie was flirt. Old Katie had a secret aspiration to be a clothing designer. I'm starting to think that Old Katie is lost...for good.